Instax Mini 1 Instax Mini 2 Instax Mini 3

This post is all about instant photography. Specifically this set of 3 sets of 9 pictures I took both during my trip covered by the previous roll and a bit after coming back. While I could’ve scanned these all individually or into one big group, I like the semi-square 3x3 format. You also get the pleasure of seeing my, admittedly now quite poor, handwriting.

Why did I decide to do any instant photography at all? I definitely don’t seem like the type to give up my control over how pictures turn out. So why choose a medium where there’s little control besides where you stand and what you point at? Honestly, that was kind of the point. Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in making a picture look a certain way or match a particular image. And so for me, instant photography is a way to forget about that a bit and just focus singularly on what’s available in front of me. Without the ability to control the aperture or the shutter, I can only trust in where I stand and how I think the camera will take its picture.

One thing to notice, especially in the third set of pictures is that I focused really heavily on spaces and I’m actually pretty happy with them. There’s something really appealing about the sharp contrast in some of those pictures that I’m not sure I would’ve intentionally aimed for when using a camera where I can control that.

With that said, let’s start with the first set. These were mostly taken during the period where I didn’t have another camera. Largely I was testing how the camera operated in low light conditions. Honestly it does relatively admirably. There were actually more pictures of Mammoth that all turned out terribly. They don’t allow flash in the caves and yea, it was bad. It was fun to walk around Nashville at night and take silly pictures though so I won’t say it wasn’t fun.

Before moving to the second set, I do want to acknowledge the last picture in this set. I really don’t like pictures of me where I’m aware of my picture being taken. There’s something about the performative aspect of your picture being taken that I really dislike. In taking more pictures this year I’ve really thought more deeply as to why I like or don’t like pictures of me.

Ultimately, I think it’s a function of the disconnect between the experience of the me in the picture and the me remembering the me in the picture.

The pictures of me I tend to like are ones where I have no memory of the picture being taken or my existence in them is auxiliary. In that way, I am not really in the picture. It’s not a function of my memory but someone else’s. When I look at those pictures I’m not trying to remember if I was trying to smile or if I was fussing about my hair or whether I was slouching. Instead I’m just looking at me as a subject who had no idea their picture was being taken.

In posed and performative pictures, all those kinds of insecurities come up and the picture is no longer about remembering a moment or a group, but about my mentality and my awkwardness at that moment. It’s further compounded by this idea where I feel that those pictures are not ones that I lived for me, but for someone else. I played up some aspect or smiled (or tried to smile) to fit some construct of me that isn’t genuine. Perhaps what it really is is that I really don’t like to pretend about my emotions and I don’t like being asked to smile, but it’s ok if I’m smiling normally?

All in all, it’s a complex set of emotions that I still don’t entirely understand. But I do want to circle back to this last picture of the first set. I like pictures of my shadow. They’re a representation of me that isn’t me. While I might be performing to get it to contort into a shape or existence I want, it’s still me living through that experience. I’m both organizing my shadow and taking the picture; the perspective is shared and all one thing instead of split between my internal thoughts and the picture taken by another.

Onto the second set. This set is largely dominated by the Missouri Botanical Garden located in St. Louis, with a small showing by Oklahoma City. Alternatively, you could classify this as the “nature” set out of the three. It’s definitely interesting to see some of these pictures that are really dark. It makes me wonder how exactly the metering decides when to use the flash. In none of these pictures was the flash used. Quite frankly, I’m not sure if I would’ve chosen the exposures in the top right and bottom left corners if I were taking pictures normally. It appears like they’re exposed a bit darker than a center weighted average would be and more towards the brightest spot in the entire frame. This isn’t to say I dislike these pictures. On the contrary, I actually quite like both of them for that reason specifically.

I can’t not talk about the duck and geese in this set. The goose picture in the middle right was taken on a bridge with those feed the ducks/geese pellet machines. There was a family with small children feeding the geese there and I ended up just crouching and waiting. I think by the time I took the picture I was maybe a foot or two away from the goose. It was definitely a bit of a shock when I pulled the camera away and noticed just how close it ended up. The viewfinder on this camera is a bit wide angle so it makes things look just a bit further away than they actually are so it caught me off guard.

The duck in the bottom middle was one I was following for a good few minutes in Oklahoma City. Oklahoma City has a tourist-y canal area similar to San Antonio’s, except Oklahoma City’s canal is man made, named Bricktown which is where I took this picture. Honestly I’m not sure how I feel about it. I do think that the dark patch in the bottom section works but I don’t think that’s quite what I expected it to look like. To be fair, it was in the shade of a large tree so maybe that’s what I should’ve expected it to look like. Overall, what I’ll say is that shadows and dark areas tended to be darker than I expected in general when taking these pictures and that’s something I’ll have to pay attention to.

For the last set, I already covered the idea of spaces earlier. But I do want to highlight the top middle picture which I took of an alleyway right before getting to the Oklahoma City Museum of Art. Quite frankly, this might be my favorite picture all year. That obviously sounds a bit silly and perhaps a bit nonsensical considering how mundane the picture is. However, I really like the composition. Since the lens on the camera is a bit wide angle, the space is drawn outwards and extended. The reflection in the glass on the left side is really appealing. Unlike some of the other spaces I’ve taken pictures of, this one really pulls you into the space between. It’s a bit funny that perhaps my favorite picture was taken with an instant camera. But that’s just kind of how it is. I won’t say it’s the best representation of my photography or the photography I’m trying to express. It’s just the one I like the most. It’s important for me to recognize that those can be different things.

This post clearly ran super long. Before ending, a couple last things. My handwriting’s bad, I know. Also, I did start a related Instagram account for this site which can be reached via the link in the bottom corner. The handle is @hexchromatic_photos. I messed up the account creation for @hexchromatic so it got locked, oops. It’ll update with specific pictures generally related to posts but maybe not?

Now, the real last thing I’ll note is that these really aren’t pictures that are meant to be zoomed into and looked at with a fine toothed comb. They look great at the size they print out, which is wallet sized. Honestly, scanning them feels a bit silly almost, but maybe one day I’ll pass them out and having a record of them will feel nice.